6:53am Writing Practice 55° Boise
Yep, that's right, it's that early and I'm up. I've been up since 4am, or at least awake since 4am. I didn't actually rise until 5:30, at which point Rocky sat up on the bed blinking at the light I had just turned on, wondering what the heck was going on. It's just now light enough to let the cats go out but it's still chilly.
The whole month of August I've been lazy as can be. My house is so dusty I can hardly stand it and yet I do. Stand it, I mean. I've done outside work, renovating the back yard and the deck, getting it all cleaned up, the new deck sealed, the house painted where the old deck used to be. It's almost finished out there but now the inside needs attention and I'm about to rip into it. But back to the lazy part ... it's been so hot in the afternoons, I get Rocky in and then he and I lay on my bed napping and reading under the ceiling fan for several hours. It's been wonderful. Probably the most relaxing time I've ever had. However, I think I may be rested up now and that's why I'm waking up so early. This is the second time in a week that I've woken up predawn and not been able to go back to sleep.
I've been writing in my other journal and I only have enough pages left for one more entry. Then I'll have to start another notebook. Or I can give up the handwritten pages for a while and only do these typed pages. That's probably the best idea right now while I'm working on writing a book. I'll need to type stuff. I can always go back to handwritten pages if I need to at some point ... So I'll finish up the last entry over there and put all that away for a while.
I'm thinking of starting a new blog for Self-Empowered Health and then blog my way into that book. I have plenty of notes and info already done up to start. I don't have to advertise it, I can just start in and do that every day instead of these random pages. Although there's nothing wrong with random, it's just that it won't get me a book. But random writing for a half hour each day for a warm up is a fine idea and I can still do that right here. So when I finish here, I'll set up a new blog site. That will make blog number six, I think. There's
1) Practice Happiness.blogspot
2) RandySandknop.blogspot
3) FunnySighted.blog.com .... except that site seems to be down permanently
4) Grief Space.blogspot
5) The Art of Kindness.blogspot
And now Self-Empowered Health.someblog.com
Do I need a 6th blog?! I've been working on bloging or trying to blog for years --- at least 8 years! And I have yet to take off with one. Should I just keep creating stuff until something finally sticks?
Another decision was made this morning before I got up. I'm going to give notice on my studio and move it all home. I'll have a driveway sale in September and sell everything I no longer need, which means I have to go through everything and figure out what to keep and what to move along. I'm tired of all this stuff plugging up my life, I want simplicity. I was space. I want to feel renewed here without having to move. So now that I've rested up fully and gotten the back yard almost finished, I can set about cleaning and clearing and refreshing my inside space. I'll take the bed out of the back bedroom and make it into an office only. I don't need a guest room and as long as I have these cats, I can't have a roommate. Plus, in the summer, that door sticks and doesn't close all the way. Between the cats and the door issues, there's just no way to use that room for another person.
So I've had my studio for a year and I've used it very little. Sad but true. I gave it a shot and now it's time to make a change again and move it all home. I'm taking a break from photography while I write my book and I do my writing sitting right here in my own living room. I bought a new desk top computer and have yet to actually use it. I may use it here. But I just remembered, I bought it to use mainly for photography. OK, that's fine. No loss there. I'll downsize again and save that $154 a month. I'm glad I got to try it, I always love the idea of an office or studio away from home, but it's a waste of space.
Well, this will be exciting. I'll email Horace today and give him my notice. Then I'll start cleaning and sorting. I'm having a party a week from today, my 24 year Sober Day party. I'll need the house clean for that anyway. And then I'll begin creating space for the move back home. I'll need to sell stuff and I have no place to store things while I prepare for a yard sale. I hope an idea comes while I'm taking action.
When I look back on all my writing, I hope I don't come off as an idiot. A ditherer. But I'm afraid I will. Oh well ... we're all just doing the best we can on a daily basis, it's just that I write about it all on a daily basis. I have proof that I suffer from indecision and uncertainty. What I don't say on a daily basis is that I cry every day, some days more than others. So in a way, the very fact that I'm still here trying is amazing. I'm amazing. Every day that I stay alive after Stephen died is a testament to the power of my will. I may be a ditherer but I'm still here.
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