9:45am Writing Practice 28°/ Boise
I've been up since 8:30, awake since 7:45, thanks to Milo and restless cat syndrome. They are sick and tired of laying around the house and not getting to go out to run and play. Although I have let them out twice this week but it was too cold for them and they came back after just a few minutes. We're all sick of this cold weather. And the snow. I look out the window and see that it's snowing again right now but there's not supposed to be any presip at all for the coming week, just cold. It's fine flakes falling out there, maybe it won't amount to anything. I have to load up and go clean at Vista this afternoon and if it snows too much, I won't go until tomorrow. I just checked the forecast and this is not going to last, just a skiff to remind us that winter is far from over around here. I have 4 hours before I leave for the cleaning job, that should be plenty of time for this to stop and the roads to be OK. No slip and slide for me, I won't go there.
I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan on Monday and have lost almost 2 lbs already and I'm really just getting started. I have 2½ weeks to go before I leave for Mexico and at this rate, I should fit my summer clothes just fine by then. For now, that's all I ask. If I could solve my sweet tooth, I'd drop weight like crazy and be under 130 lbs in no time and keep it there easily. The sweets aren't a huge issue, not like they were with my mother but still, I'd like to cut down even more.
I've got a writing project started and a new outline but haven't worked on it at all this week. The political unrest in the air right now is so distracting and yet I can't do anything about it, which is why I've left politics alone all my life. I'm in the process now of getting my attention out of it, limiting my time on Facebook, thinking about other things. I imagine moving to Mexico but until I go see the place, I won't really have an idea to base the dream on. Also, Trump is threatening to build that wall again. How will his attitude affect how Americans are treated in Mexico? The Mexican government would be within its right and reason to cancel all visas and send all Americans back to the States. In which case, moving there would not be an option. Canada is out, I don't want to go north, and all other countries are too hard to get to with my cat.
I was looking on Mike Shaw's FB page this morning to see what that side is thinking and he used those hated words on one of his posts --- "If you don't like it, get out!" Whenever I see that demand stated I get mad. For 8 years, he hated Obama and everything the government did, claiming all sorts of fictitious things that never happened, and not once was he invited to leave if he didn't like it. At least not that I saw. What gives some people the idea that freedom is only available for those who agree with them and the rest of us must leave? I may post this as a question on FB because it's going to get worse and we should all be prepared for it. OK, I just posted it, we'll see what discussions the question brings. I'd sure like to get to the bottom of that one, it annoys me terribly.
Stephen showed up in my dreams this morning. Seems I was getting married again and he was at the reception or was it the pre-party? He was young, early 20's and I was worried about him, wondering if he was ever going to be OK. It was a weird dream and didn't make any sense. I don't even know who I was supposed to be marrying but it didn't feel like I wanted to do it. Plus, I was the photographer at my own wedding and Gigi was there but didn't like herself in one of the photos and I thought, why didn't I hand to camera to Stephen? He's a terrific photographer, he could have done the job. Then I felt that I didn't trust him to do it in his condition. So I was reminded of my attitude toward Stephen during those early years of his 20's. He was so immature and on the edge of collapse. I knew it, I felt it about him but there was nothing I could do about it. Now that I think about it, he wasn't the photographer he became later at that time in his life. He didn't really take off with photography until he wrote a bad check for a digital camera at Walmart (that I later covered) and started really taking pictures. Then when he got his first Mac laptop from his dad in 2006, he really bloomed. Same with his music. That laptop was the best idea we had and I'm so glad John bought it for him.
In my dream, Stephen was visiting from Portland where he had a life. Interesting. I wonder if I was dreaming an alternative timeline? It didn't seem any more hopeful than the one we lived with, where he died. I would love to have a dream of a timeline where he flourished and became strong and independent. Yes, that's the dream I like! The one where he's still here, having fun and making music and movies and loving his life. Give me that dream and I'll step into it and never wake up. Thank you.
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