9:45am Writing Practice 28°/ Boise
I've been up since 8:30, awake since 7:45, thanks to Milo and restless cat syndrome. They are sick and tired of laying around the house and not getting to go out to run and play. Although I have let them out twice this week but it was too cold for them and they came back after just a few minutes. We're all sick of this cold weather. And the snow. I look out the window and see that it's snowing again right now but there's not supposed to be any presip at all for the coming week, just cold. It's fine flakes falling out there, maybe it won't amount to anything. I have to load up and go clean at Vista this afternoon and if it snows too much, I won't go until tomorrow. I just checked the forecast and this is not going to last, just a skiff to remind us that winter is far from over around here. I have 4 hours before I leave for the cleaning job, that should be plenty of time for this to stop and the roads to be OK. No slip and slide for me, I won't go there.
I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan on Monday and have lost almost 2 lbs already and I'm really just getting started. I have 2½ weeks to go before I leave for Mexico and at this rate, I should fit my summer clothes just fine by then. For now, that's all I ask. If I could solve my sweet tooth, I'd drop weight like crazy and be under 130 lbs in no time and keep it there easily. The sweets aren't a huge issue, not like they were with my mother but still, I'd like to cut down even more.
I've got a writing project started and a new outline but haven't worked on it at all this week. The political unrest in the air right now is so distracting and yet I can't do anything about it, which is why I've left politics alone all my life. I'm in the process now of getting my attention out of it, limiting my time on Facebook, thinking about other things. I imagine moving to Mexico but until I go see the place, I won't really have an idea to base the dream on. Also, Trump is threatening to build that wall again. How will his attitude affect how Americans are treated in Mexico? The Mexican government would be within its right and reason to cancel all visas and send all Americans back to the States. In which case, moving there would not be an option. Canada is out, I don't want to go north, and all other countries are too hard to get to with my cat.
I was looking on Mike Shaw's FB page this morning to see what that side is thinking and he used those hated words on one of his posts --- "If you don't like it, get out!" Whenever I see that demand stated I get mad. For 8 years, he hated Obama and everything the government did, claiming all sorts of fictitious things that never happened, and not once was he invited to leave if he didn't like it. At least not that I saw. What gives some people the idea that freedom is only available for those who agree with them and the rest of us must leave? I may post this as a question on FB because it's going to get worse and we should all be prepared for it. OK, I just posted it, we'll see what discussions the question brings. I'd sure like to get to the bottom of that one, it annoys me terribly.
Stephen showed up in my dreams this morning. Seems I was getting married again and he was at the reception or was it the pre-party? He was young, early 20's and I was worried about him, wondering if he was ever going to be OK. It was a weird dream and didn't make any sense. I don't even know who I was supposed to be marrying but it didn't feel like I wanted to do it. Plus, I was the photographer at my own wedding and Gigi was there but didn't like herself in one of the photos and I thought, why didn't I hand to camera to Stephen? He's a terrific photographer, he could have done the job. Then I felt that I didn't trust him to do it in his condition. So I was reminded of my attitude toward Stephen during those early years of his 20's. He was so immature and on the edge of collapse. I knew it, I felt it about him but there was nothing I could do about it. Now that I think about it, he wasn't the photographer he became later at that time in his life. He didn't really take off with photography until he wrote a bad check for a digital camera at Walmart (that I later covered) and started really taking pictures. Then when he got his first Mac laptop from his dad in 2006, he really bloomed. Same with his music. That laptop was the best idea we had and I'm so glad John bought it for him.
In my dream, Stephen was visiting from Portland where he had a life. Interesting. I wonder if I was dreaming an alternative timeline? It didn't seem any more hopeful than the one we lived with, where he died. I would love to have a dream of a timeline where he flourished and became strong and independent. Yes, that's the dream I like! The one where he's still here, having fun and making music and movies and loving his life. Give me that dream and I'll step into it and never wake up. Thank you.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Idea: Messages from Elysium
9:25am Writing Practice 23°/ Boise
Still dealing with crappy weather and a frozen world. It snowed another 3" yesterday and I got that cleared in time for this heavy freeze to return for the foreseeable future. I ran errands yesterday, got to the post office to mail colloidal silver to our hotel in Mexico (cost me $45 to ship, I hope it arrives!) and returned library books, plus stopped in to Fred Meyer to pick up some salad. My supplies are holding out great, I seem to be able to get out about twice a week, which is all I really need to do. I'm home again now until Thursday when I have to go clean at the Vista building and then I can send them my invoice to $220 this time --- I had an extra job for them last week to add to my income.
I have started a continuation of the memoir writing, got a new outline and have plunked away at it. But I've also been watching YouTube videos about doodling and watercolor painting and that's been inspiring and relaxing. I actually started a new piece a few days ago, a watercolor background with doodle flowers in a low vase. I'll continue to add to that as well, might take a few weeks to get it done but I like it so far. It will be good practice for building up layers and adding detail ... just what I need to do with my writing as well.
While browsing FB this morning, I saw a photo of a swirling design and this came to mind:
Still dealing with crappy weather and a frozen world. It snowed another 3" yesterday and I got that cleared in time for this heavy freeze to return for the foreseeable future. I ran errands yesterday, got to the post office to mail colloidal silver to our hotel in Mexico (cost me $45 to ship, I hope it arrives!) and returned library books, plus stopped in to Fred Meyer to pick up some salad. My supplies are holding out great, I seem to be able to get out about twice a week, which is all I really need to do. I'm home again now until Thursday when I have to go clean at the Vista building and then I can send them my invoice to $220 this time --- I had an extra job for them last week to add to my income.
I have started a continuation of the memoir writing, got a new outline and have plunked away at it. But I've also been watching YouTube videos about doodling and watercolor painting and that's been inspiring and relaxing. I actually started a new piece a few days ago, a watercolor background with doodle flowers in a low vase. I'll continue to add to that as well, might take a few weeks to get it done but I like it so far. It will be good practice for building up layers and adding detail ... just what I need to do with my writing as well.
While browsing FB this morning, I saw a photo of a swirling design and this came to mind:
"The
cosmos exists in swirls. Emotions swirl in a dance with the universe,
neither good nor bad, right or wrong. Find the meaning in the feeling,
begin to understand the triggers and claim them to put the power of
creation into your lives."
So I made it a post on FB with a photo from my files and labeled it, "My message from Elysium this morning." Then I thought, hey, that sounds good! Messages from Elysium. So I Googled it, no match. Then I checked GoDaddy for a domain name (messagesfromelysuim.com) and it's available. I could create a blog for them and begin to channel messages and share them. What do you think? Well, I'll just have to see if any other messages come to me and then decide what to do with them.
In the meantime, I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan yesterday and lost 1.2 pounds overnight, which is common. The rest usually take a little longer. I just want to lose enough to fit my summer clothes comfortably in Mexico and that's only 4 or 5 pounds. I'd love to lose an additional 3 or 4 pounds by summer to be slim and trim for summer fun. I should be able to do this if I can just stay out of the sweets. Really, that's all it would take.
OK, that's it for me, off for breakfast and then whatever else I choose to do on the freezing but sunny day.
So I made it a post on FB with a photo from my files and labeled it, "My message from Elysium this morning." Then I thought, hey, that sounds good! Messages from Elysium. So I Googled it, no match. Then I checked GoDaddy for a domain name (messagesfromelysuim.com) and it's available. I could create a blog for them and begin to channel messages and share them. What do you think? Well, I'll just have to see if any other messages come to me and then decide what to do with them.
In the meantime, I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan yesterday and lost 1.2 pounds overnight, which is common. The rest usually take a little longer. I just want to lose enough to fit my summer clothes comfortably in Mexico and that's only 4 or 5 pounds. I'd love to lose an additional 3 or 4 pounds by summer to be slim and trim for summer fun. I should be able to do this if I can just stay out of the sweets. Really, that's all it would take.
OK, that's it for me, off for breakfast and then whatever else I choose to do on the freezing but sunny day.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Elysium Counsil --- personal history
11am Writing Practice 25° / Boise
After a nightmare few weeks of horrible weather, we're on the other side of the worst of it now, I think. The freezing rain never came and we didn't lose power, which is all I asked, so whoever brought that home, Thank You. The snow started in before Thanksgiving and it hasn't let up since, almost 2 months. I have 4 foot piles on either side on the new deck and there are 4 foot piles out front that I built while shoveling. I had a little muscle spasm in my neck yesterday from all that heavy shoveling but the beads and a little heat seems to have cured that. Today it's clear and sunny and even though it's not supposed to warm up to thaw, the sun will help evaporate the ice and build up for the next several days. Then the snow returns next week with no real thaw to melt what we have.
And they say there is no global warming.
The world appears to be going to shit, what with Trump about to take office in 8 days and everyone in an uproar. I know there's going to be a shake up for this system and I just hope I can survive it. If not, my little life and my stories will be buried with me and who will care. Who will ever care?
In my written pages I got a message from The Elysium Group a few days ago ... not sure if it's a committee or a council or a connection or a consortium. I was reminded of a vision I had years ago of my Higher Power, January or February of 1993. I had been reading a little book I picked up at an antique shop in Jefferson City, MO on our way to John's new job at The Naval Training Center in North Chicago. The book was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and it cost me a quarter. I used to know right where that little book was but I can't find it now. I may have finally lost it or misplaced it. Not moving for over 9 years means I have lost track of much of my stuff. It's probably around somewhere.
But to get back to the point, I had been reading that little book and Mr Peale used the word God so much and it bothered me but he also gave the reader permission to name the Higher Power anything they chose. The same went for the AA meetings I attended. Gerald called his HP, I found out years later, but I didn't know what to call that power I was supposed to turn it all over to. And here's where the memory came back to me so clearly that I had to write about it again.
I decided to lay down and ask to be shown who or what my Higher Power is. I settled in on the couch while Stephen was at school and John was at work and relaxed into a meditational nap and in it I got a vision of a semi-circular table with people sitting around the outside, all ready to listen and take notes and confer with me on whatever was on my mind. And I was standing or sitting facing them, presenting them with my issues and questions. I got the emotional feeling of intent focus, like everything I brought to them was of extreme importance and their only purpose was to be fully present with me as I asked questions or explained my situation. It looked like a board room of sorts and the people were dressed in suits and sat at attention with tablets in front of them. No one spoke, it was a conference meant just for me and I felt fully supported. When I woke, the vision was still vivid, as it is right now. It wasn't a dream. I felt around in it for a bit and was comforted and encouraged by this idea of being so loved and supported in all I was trying to do. I named them my Council on Higher Power but this was before I started writing in December 1994, so I didn't connect with them, bond with them, like I could have had I been writing daily like I have done all these years.
So this vision popped to mind while I was brushing my teeth the other day and once it came back, it stayed with me. When I wrote about it in my spiral pages, a name came to mind, Allisium. I saw the word in my mind's eye but I didn't know if it was a real word or maybe the name of a flower, so I Googled it. Sure enough, alyssum is a flower but the other word I found was Elysium, which fit the pronunciation of the word I saw. Then I looked up the meaning and was blown away! The Elysium Fields is an ancient version of the afterlife and has a long history, many thousands of years. There's also a movie and I saw it a few years ago but had forgotten about it. An interesting note: Jody Foster played the leader of the Elysium Council in that movie and sat in a chair with a semi-circular table in front of her where the other council members all faced her. Also, in the movie Contact, Jody Foster payed the main character who presented her ideas and findings to a council in a board room facing a semi-circular table where people were seated, listening and watching. I had that memory this morning, putting those pieces together.
The main point in writing about this here is to ponder the possibility of contact via inspiration of an actual entity or power available to help me --- as religious people believe a god is available to them via prayer and divine guidance. In my spiral pages, I wrote some things about beliefs and the way beliefs create reality and it came so effortlessly, so naturally. I would LOVE to believe that I have access to such a council and that they gave me a name that I can use for them. What would it be like to just go forth as if, see where it takes me? To become a channel for The Elysium Council. Maybe that's why I keep getting the vision. They want to talk to me. Maybe I'm ready for whatever they have to say. Or maybe I'm just ready for the looney bin. Whatever, it's an interesting idea and might be fun, if I can find a way to open up.
Also, maybe Stephen is there and is part of the council now. I do keep asking him where he is. So we'll see.
After a nightmare few weeks of horrible weather, we're on the other side of the worst of it now, I think. The freezing rain never came and we didn't lose power, which is all I asked, so whoever brought that home, Thank You. The snow started in before Thanksgiving and it hasn't let up since, almost 2 months. I have 4 foot piles on either side on the new deck and there are 4 foot piles out front that I built while shoveling. I had a little muscle spasm in my neck yesterday from all that heavy shoveling but the beads and a little heat seems to have cured that. Today it's clear and sunny and even though it's not supposed to warm up to thaw, the sun will help evaporate the ice and build up for the next several days. Then the snow returns next week with no real thaw to melt what we have.
And they say there is no global warming.
The world appears to be going to shit, what with Trump about to take office in 8 days and everyone in an uproar. I know there's going to be a shake up for this system and I just hope I can survive it. If not, my little life and my stories will be buried with me and who will care. Who will ever care?
In my written pages I got a message from The Elysium Group a few days ago ... not sure if it's a committee or a council or a connection or a consortium. I was reminded of a vision I had years ago of my Higher Power, January or February of 1993. I had been reading a little book I picked up at an antique shop in Jefferson City, MO on our way to John's new job at The Naval Training Center in North Chicago. The book was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and it cost me a quarter. I used to know right where that little book was but I can't find it now. I may have finally lost it or misplaced it. Not moving for over 9 years means I have lost track of much of my stuff. It's probably around somewhere.
But to get back to the point, I had been reading that little book and Mr Peale used the word God so much and it bothered me but he also gave the reader permission to name the Higher Power anything they chose. The same went for the AA meetings I attended. Gerald called his HP, I found out years later, but I didn't know what to call that power I was supposed to turn it all over to. And here's where the memory came back to me so clearly that I had to write about it again.
I decided to lay down and ask to be shown who or what my Higher Power is. I settled in on the couch while Stephen was at school and John was at work and relaxed into a meditational nap and in it I got a vision of a semi-circular table with people sitting around the outside, all ready to listen and take notes and confer with me on whatever was on my mind. And I was standing or sitting facing them, presenting them with my issues and questions. I got the emotional feeling of intent focus, like everything I brought to them was of extreme importance and their only purpose was to be fully present with me as I asked questions or explained my situation. It looked like a board room of sorts and the people were dressed in suits and sat at attention with tablets in front of them. No one spoke, it was a conference meant just for me and I felt fully supported. When I woke, the vision was still vivid, as it is right now. It wasn't a dream. I felt around in it for a bit and was comforted and encouraged by this idea of being so loved and supported in all I was trying to do. I named them my Council on Higher Power but this was before I started writing in December 1994, so I didn't connect with them, bond with them, like I could have had I been writing daily like I have done all these years.
So this vision popped to mind while I was brushing my teeth the other day and once it came back, it stayed with me. When I wrote about it in my spiral pages, a name came to mind, Allisium. I saw the word in my mind's eye but I didn't know if it was a real word or maybe the name of a flower, so I Googled it. Sure enough, alyssum is a flower but the other word I found was Elysium, which fit the pronunciation of the word I saw. Then I looked up the meaning and was blown away! The Elysium Fields is an ancient version of the afterlife and has a long history, many thousands of years. There's also a movie and I saw it a few years ago but had forgotten about it. An interesting note: Jody Foster played the leader of the Elysium Council in that movie and sat in a chair with a semi-circular table in front of her where the other council members all faced her. Also, in the movie Contact, Jody Foster payed the main character who presented her ideas and findings to a council in a board room facing a semi-circular table where people were seated, listening and watching. I had that memory this morning, putting those pieces together.
The main point in writing about this here is to ponder the possibility of contact via inspiration of an actual entity or power available to help me --- as religious people believe a god is available to them via prayer and divine guidance. In my spiral pages, I wrote some things about beliefs and the way beliefs create reality and it came so effortlessly, so naturally. I would LOVE to believe that I have access to such a council and that they gave me a name that I can use for them. What would it be like to just go forth as if, see where it takes me? To become a channel for The Elysium Council. Maybe that's why I keep getting the vision. They want to talk to me. Maybe I'm ready for whatever they have to say. Or maybe I'm just ready for the looney bin. Whatever, it's an interesting idea and might be fun, if I can find a way to open up.
Also, maybe Stephen is there and is part of the council now. I do keep asking him where he is. So we'll see.
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Quitting Christmas
10:45am Writing Practice 22°/Boise
Here it is, Christmas Day and I've already written in my notebook but this idea compels me to jump in here and write a little more. Christmas has kicked my ass all my life and I'd like to try to track some of them, to remember Christmases I've had and the feelings that came with them. Because no matter where there were, what house, what city, who I was with or what gifts were given, Christmas has never been right, has never felt like the movies we are shown about the true meaning of Christmas. And the stories that came with the holiday, the religious aspects and the fantasy aspects, the trees and ornaments and lights and gifts and decorations have just never fit somehow. What is it really all about and how can I resolve this in my life, in the big picture of who I am after all this time. I'm 63 years old. That means that I've lived through and participated or abstained from 63 Christmases in my life. That's a lot of opportunities to figure out what it's all about, don't you think?
I look out my windows on a day that is so clear and bright, the sun sparkling on the foot of snow that has fallen the last few days, and I can feel a sort of magic, conjured from the habits and beliefs that have formed and informed my life from the beginning. We don't enter life as a clean slate, more like a human sponge soaking up all that is around us. This soaking begins in the womb. As we absorb nutrients from our mother, we also take in her heart beats and temperature, her thoughts and desires and beliefs. A pregnant mother can hide nothing from the child growing within, she shares all that she is on so many levels and most of it is unconscious. When the child enters life and begin the breathe and function and grow on its own, it is already formatted for the life it will enter. The patterns for the life and the structure of the belief system is already in place.
The first Christmas I can remember is when I was 5 years old. My mother had married my step-father in August and she had traveled from Santa Ana, California on the train to collect me from my aunt's ranch in Keating, Oregon, near Baker in Eastern Oregon where I had been living with my little brother, Gerald, for an unknown length of time. She left Gerald there and the trauma of being left behind and abandoned would haunt him for the rest of his life.
There is no holiday from grief.
Here it is, Christmas Day and I've already written in my notebook but this idea compels me to jump in here and write a little more. Christmas has kicked my ass all my life and I'd like to try to track some of them, to remember Christmases I've had and the feelings that came with them. Because no matter where there were, what house, what city, who I was with or what gifts were given, Christmas has never been right, has never felt like the movies we are shown about the true meaning of Christmas. And the stories that came with the holiday, the religious aspects and the fantasy aspects, the trees and ornaments and lights and gifts and decorations have just never fit somehow. What is it really all about and how can I resolve this in my life, in the big picture of who I am after all this time. I'm 63 years old. That means that I've lived through and participated or abstained from 63 Christmases in my life. That's a lot of opportunities to figure out what it's all about, don't you think?
I look out my windows on a day that is so clear and bright, the sun sparkling on the foot of snow that has fallen the last few days, and I can feel a sort of magic, conjured from the habits and beliefs that have formed and informed my life from the beginning. We don't enter life as a clean slate, more like a human sponge soaking up all that is around us. This soaking begins in the womb. As we absorb nutrients from our mother, we also take in her heart beats and temperature, her thoughts and desires and beliefs. A pregnant mother can hide nothing from the child growing within, she shares all that she is on so many levels and most of it is unconscious. When the child enters life and begin the breathe and function and grow on its own, it is already formatted for the life it will enter. The patterns for the life and the structure of the belief system is already in place.
The first Christmas I can remember is when I was 5 years old. My mother had married my step-father in August and she had traveled from Santa Ana, California on the train to collect me from my aunt's ranch in Keating, Oregon, near Baker in Eastern Oregon where I had been living with my little brother, Gerald, for an unknown length of time. She left Gerald there and the trauma of being left behind and abandoned would haunt him for the rest of his life.
There is no holiday from grief.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Sunday Check-in
8:55 Writing Practice 28°/Boise
I finished off my last spiral notebook yesterday and thought I'd get in here with the typed journal for a while and see if I can get some real writing done ... or at least started. In the nine years I've lived here in this house, I've written 28 notebooks (18 in the last 3 years alone) and only 8 notebooks and some loose pages in the 13 years before I got here. So in fact, living here and being stable and staying put has really improved my creative output of pages, at lease on a regular basis.
But for now and the months to come, I'll need to write this way in order to begin to share what I write. This journal is already full of information and ideas --- it's like a whole notebook of it's own or more. Maybe two. This will be my 80th post this year which is dang amazing! Of course, none of it was written with a view to sharing, I just tapped each one out and hit post. But still, this is the kind of writing I'm going to need to do (typing) if I hope to get a book written.
Calendars are mostly sold. I only ordered 60 this year, no reorders, and they arrived perfect and great quality. I'm very pleased! I have 8 left to sell or give away and Gigi has 4 at her shop. Hopefully she can sell them. It's only Dec 11 and I'm almost finished with calendars for this year. Wow! Last week I packaged and mailed all the orders even if they weren't paid for yet. I decided to act on trust this year and save myself the hassle of multiple trips to the post office. Now all I have to do is sit back and await the arrival of checks or deposits into PayPal. Cool, huh? I've received 2 new orders that need to be mailed so I'll have to round up padded envelopes for them or ship Priority for $6.80. That costs me an additional $1.80 each above First Class and for just these 2, it may be worth it. But I do still have 8 calendars to sell, I may be shipping more. Plus I just remembered that I have to send 3 to Botswana. Maybe. The seasons in my calendar are backward to their seasons, they may not like that. Plus they don't have a lot of the holidays that we have. It's hard to say if the previous calendars have been appreciated. Or even used. And it costs me $23 just to ship them. Hummmm. I'll have to see how this all shakes out, I may not send them this year.
I refinanced my house since the last post, my new payment is $685 mo. No PMI! I can continue to pay the same payment and knock 6 years off my loan, although I'll have to ask Mark Onnen to help me figure that out. Right now, I'm saving $128 mo but the interest was going to go up in February and then again a year later. Even without PMI, the payment would have been $843 mo for the rest of the loan. But get this! I've received 4 bonus payments toward principle of $1000 each, that last one arriving just a week before closing on the refi. Isn't that just the coolest? That means I'll be getting that back in a check from Idaho Housing sometime next month, after the dust settles and all fees and balances are paid up. Free money! Evidently that was some sort of incentive added into my modification 5 years ago (has it been that long already?!) for me to make payments on time. But I didn't even know about it, I always make payments on time so they just added those bonuses without me even noticing. I wondered how my principle balance was going down so fast and now I know. I had one last bonus coming next year had I not refinanced but hey, interest rates are going up, now was the time to do a refi before all hell breaks loose in the country. IF Trump takes office, that is ... I still have hope that sanity with prevail somehow and that this sham of a man will be sent packing.
OK, what's next. It's sheet-wash day and I just put the wet sheets into the dryer. I'm using a flannel on the bottom and a cotton for a top sheet, along with my heater blanket. It's perfect! I've been sleeping very good all week and waking just after 7am and not falling back to sleep after I take my ASEA and go back to bed. I do my breathing and stretching and have the ball under my neck a while and then get up. Also, I've not felt the need for a nap in weeks, not sure why. I seem to happily putter around my day getting stuff done or sitting on the computer. I still have Ray's zoo book to finish and Jodie's book, before I can start my own photo book project. I'm going to use my Practice Happiness calendar photos to make a photo book and write something for each practice. I have an idea it will be cool but I'll have to do one and see. That's what I'll be working on in January and February. Right now I can get a deal through Snapfish and I don't know what it will cost after the 1st but I'm going to make one and maybe use it to send to publishers. Surely there's a market for a book like that. Plus it all depends on what comes as I write it.
Oh well, off I go to work on Ray's book. I moved the laptop into the living room again last night. This seems to be where I sit to work online and create stuff so I'll just go with it. I sat right here for hours on end and designed the calendar this year as well as last year. This must work for me --- pain-free creating in a soft chair with good back support. I can dig it.
I finished off my last spiral notebook yesterday and thought I'd get in here with the typed journal for a while and see if I can get some real writing done ... or at least started. In the nine years I've lived here in this house, I've written 28 notebooks (18 in the last 3 years alone) and only 8 notebooks and some loose pages in the 13 years before I got here. So in fact, living here and being stable and staying put has really improved my creative output of pages, at lease on a regular basis.
But for now and the months to come, I'll need to write this way in order to begin to share what I write. This journal is already full of information and ideas --- it's like a whole notebook of it's own or more. Maybe two. This will be my 80th post this year which is dang amazing! Of course, none of it was written with a view to sharing, I just tapped each one out and hit post. But still, this is the kind of writing I'm going to need to do (typing) if I hope to get a book written.
Calendars are mostly sold. I only ordered 60 this year, no reorders, and they arrived perfect and great quality. I'm very pleased! I have 8 left to sell or give away and Gigi has 4 at her shop. Hopefully she can sell them. It's only Dec 11 and I'm almost finished with calendars for this year. Wow! Last week I packaged and mailed all the orders even if they weren't paid for yet. I decided to act on trust this year and save myself the hassle of multiple trips to the post office. Now all I have to do is sit back and await the arrival of checks or deposits into PayPal. Cool, huh? I've received 2 new orders that need to be mailed so I'll have to round up padded envelopes for them or ship Priority for $6.80. That costs me an additional $1.80 each above First Class and for just these 2, it may be worth it. But I do still have 8 calendars to sell, I may be shipping more. Plus I just remembered that I have to send 3 to Botswana. Maybe. The seasons in my calendar are backward to their seasons, they may not like that. Plus they don't have a lot of the holidays that we have. It's hard to say if the previous calendars have been appreciated. Or even used. And it costs me $23 just to ship them. Hummmm. I'll have to see how this all shakes out, I may not send them this year.
I refinanced my house since the last post, my new payment is $685 mo. No PMI! I can continue to pay the same payment and knock 6 years off my loan, although I'll have to ask Mark Onnen to help me figure that out. Right now, I'm saving $128 mo but the interest was going to go up in February and then again a year later. Even without PMI, the payment would have been $843 mo for the rest of the loan. But get this! I've received 4 bonus payments toward principle of $1000 each, that last one arriving just a week before closing on the refi. Isn't that just the coolest? That means I'll be getting that back in a check from Idaho Housing sometime next month, after the dust settles and all fees and balances are paid up. Free money! Evidently that was some sort of incentive added into my modification 5 years ago (has it been that long already?!) for me to make payments on time. But I didn't even know about it, I always make payments on time so they just added those bonuses without me even noticing. I wondered how my principle balance was going down so fast and now I know. I had one last bonus coming next year had I not refinanced but hey, interest rates are going up, now was the time to do a refi before all hell breaks loose in the country. IF Trump takes office, that is ... I still have hope that sanity with prevail somehow and that this sham of a man will be sent packing.
OK, what's next. It's sheet-wash day and I just put the wet sheets into the dryer. I'm using a flannel on the bottom and a cotton for a top sheet, along with my heater blanket. It's perfect! I've been sleeping very good all week and waking just after 7am and not falling back to sleep after I take my ASEA and go back to bed. I do my breathing and stretching and have the ball under my neck a while and then get up. Also, I've not felt the need for a nap in weeks, not sure why. I seem to happily putter around my day getting stuff done or sitting on the computer. I still have Ray's zoo book to finish and Jodie's book, before I can start my own photo book project. I'm going to use my Practice Happiness calendar photos to make a photo book and write something for each practice. I have an idea it will be cool but I'll have to do one and see. That's what I'll be working on in January and February. Right now I can get a deal through Snapfish and I don't know what it will cost after the 1st but I'm going to make one and maybe use it to send to publishers. Surely there's a market for a book like that. Plus it all depends on what comes as I write it.
Oh well, off I go to work on Ray's book. I moved the laptop into the living room again last night. This seems to be where I sit to work online and create stuff so I'll just go with it. I sat right here for hours on end and designed the calendar this year as well as last year. This must work for me --- pain-free creating in a soft chair with good back support. I can dig it.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
James and the gym, calendars are done.
9:50am Writing Practice/ 36° Boise
Yesterday I joined James at the gym at 10am and skipped writing. I'll do it again Wednesday morning and perhaps that will become the routine twice a week --- I can live with that. I had a piece of toast and my vitamins before I went and then an egg sandwich on dill rye when I got back at noon. It's good to shake up the schedule sometimes and adding more exercise to the plan is always a good idea.
James and I are back friends again after a three month break. I'm so relieved and happy! We talk talk talked yesterday and walked and peddled and stretched. He's a perfect work-out pal! He told me the latest with Bryce. At one point he was saying how Bryce never listens, he only talks, that he'll ask a long, involved, deep question and not give him, James, a chance to answer it before taking off on another long question. My observation was that Bryce isn't ready for answers yet, he's just now beginning to explore the questions. That struck James as a profound insight and hopefully will help him understand a little better about where Bryce is coming from as he, Bryce, continues to mature. I said that I thought Bryce's maturity was delayed because of the religion he was raised in, he was never taught to question or observe except from a very limited perspective; now he gets to open up and blossom out and who knows where that expanded thinking will take him? He's still in the beginning stages of becoming who he really is after being molded into a clay puppet all his life. The good news is, I feel confident that James will be OK no matter what happens with Bryce! I won't go into details about that but I'll say that I feel very good about his continued life should Bryce leave him. And that's all I'll say about that.
After working on it for three full days, the calendar is finished and ordered. I got a good deal through Snapfish, I just hope the quality is good. I ordered 60 because I got 70% off yesterday for Cyber Monday. But then the shipping fees were horrible so it's a good thing I got such a good deal. The actual cost per calendar this year is $9.04 each, shipping and all. Not bad! Add the envelope for a buck and that brings them to $10.10 each. To mail one First Class is $3.78, bringing the total to 13.88 each. I'm selling them for $24 each, two for $44, three for $66. My net for one is $10.12, for two is $9.56, for three is $10.70. That should work out fine for all concerned.
I still have plenty to do to get ready to mail calendars when they arrive next week. I have to write the enclosure letter for this year's photos, I have to message everyone who ordered already and give them payment instructions and I need to contact everyone who ordered last year but not yet this year and ask if they want one or more. I'm keeping some for gifts so I really only have 54 or so to sell. I'm going to try not to reorder any and keep it simple and organized.
And then I have to design Ray's zoo book. I'll start creating the photo file for that today. And I'm going to create a book for Jodie using the photos I took at her mother's place a few days after she died, titled, The Dobble Ranch: The Way She Left It. Maybe I'll take some more shots this Friday when I drive to Baker. I'd like to get a shot of the entry to the ranch I've got photos of Jodie and David talking by the horses. It should be a neat book to have. I hope she likes it, it will be her gift this year instead of a calendar.
That reminds me ... I called on Thanksgiving Day to wish them a nice holiday and Keith answered. Jodie wasn't home and Keith filled me in on how bad their life really is, or at least how bad his life is. He says he's just a ranch hand to her, that's all. He was very bitter. He was going to spend the day with his mother in town while Jodie joined her sisters and her own family in Durkee at Jonette's. I listened and said many times, I'm so sorry to hear that. I had nothing else to offer. Sounds to me like their marriage is over, like it will limp along until he decides to leave. I don't think Jodie cares one way or the other. His whiny ways has done her in. Frankly, I couldn't take it either but it makes me sad for them. They started their lives together with high hopes and then it all went downhill from there. Jodie needs a man more like Uncle PeeWee, a tough, strong, self-motivated ranch man, only with a soft heart. Is there such a person? Probably not outside of Hollywood .... I'll stand by to be supportive of whatever happens. Dang. First Nickie and Kurt got divorced and now maybe Jodie and Keith will split up. Dang.
Well, it's time for breakfast and then back to creation mode with photos and books. I'll do Ray's book first, then Jodie's. I have an idea to make photo books with my Practice Happiness photos but that will require a more advanced level of writing. I'll get the other things finished first and then see what wants to be done next.
Good job today!
Yesterday I joined James at the gym at 10am and skipped writing. I'll do it again Wednesday morning and perhaps that will become the routine twice a week --- I can live with that. I had a piece of toast and my vitamins before I went and then an egg sandwich on dill rye when I got back at noon. It's good to shake up the schedule sometimes and adding more exercise to the plan is always a good idea.
James and I are back friends again after a three month break. I'm so relieved and happy! We talk talk talked yesterday and walked and peddled and stretched. He's a perfect work-out pal! He told me the latest with Bryce. At one point he was saying how Bryce never listens, he only talks, that he'll ask a long, involved, deep question and not give him, James, a chance to answer it before taking off on another long question. My observation was that Bryce isn't ready for answers yet, he's just now beginning to explore the questions. That struck James as a profound insight and hopefully will help him understand a little better about where Bryce is coming from as he, Bryce, continues to mature. I said that I thought Bryce's maturity was delayed because of the religion he was raised in, he was never taught to question or observe except from a very limited perspective; now he gets to open up and blossom out and who knows where that expanded thinking will take him? He's still in the beginning stages of becoming who he really is after being molded into a clay puppet all his life. The good news is, I feel confident that James will be OK no matter what happens with Bryce! I won't go into details about that but I'll say that I feel very good about his continued life should Bryce leave him. And that's all I'll say about that.
After working on it for three full days, the calendar is finished and ordered. I got a good deal through Snapfish, I just hope the quality is good. I ordered 60 because I got 70% off yesterday for Cyber Monday. But then the shipping fees were horrible so it's a good thing I got such a good deal. The actual cost per calendar this year is $9.04 each, shipping and all. Not bad! Add the envelope for a buck and that brings them to $10.10 each. To mail one First Class is $3.78, bringing the total to 13.88 each. I'm selling them for $24 each, two for $44, three for $66. My net for one is $10.12, for two is $9.56, for three is $10.70. That should work out fine for all concerned.
I still have plenty to do to get ready to mail calendars when they arrive next week. I have to write the enclosure letter for this year's photos, I have to message everyone who ordered already and give them payment instructions and I need to contact everyone who ordered last year but not yet this year and ask if they want one or more. I'm keeping some for gifts so I really only have 54 or so to sell. I'm going to try not to reorder any and keep it simple and organized.
And then I have to design Ray's zoo book. I'll start creating the photo file for that today. And I'm going to create a book for Jodie using the photos I took at her mother's place a few days after she died, titled, The Dobble Ranch: The Way She Left It. Maybe I'll take some more shots this Friday when I drive to Baker. I'd like to get a shot of the entry to the ranch I've got photos of Jodie and David talking by the horses. It should be a neat book to have. I hope she likes it, it will be her gift this year instead of a calendar.
That reminds me ... I called on Thanksgiving Day to wish them a nice holiday and Keith answered. Jodie wasn't home and Keith filled me in on how bad their life really is, or at least how bad his life is. He says he's just a ranch hand to her, that's all. He was very bitter. He was going to spend the day with his mother in town while Jodie joined her sisters and her own family in Durkee at Jonette's. I listened and said many times, I'm so sorry to hear that. I had nothing else to offer. Sounds to me like their marriage is over, like it will limp along until he decides to leave. I don't think Jodie cares one way or the other. His whiny ways has done her in. Frankly, I couldn't take it either but it makes me sad for them. They started their lives together with high hopes and then it all went downhill from there. Jodie needs a man more like Uncle PeeWee, a tough, strong, self-motivated ranch man, only with a soft heart. Is there such a person? Probably not outside of Hollywood .... I'll stand by to be supportive of whatever happens. Dang. First Nickie and Kurt got divorced and now maybe Jodie and Keith will split up. Dang.
Well, it's time for breakfast and then back to creation mode with photos and books. I'll do Ray's book first, then Jodie's. I have an idea to make photo books with my Practice Happiness photos but that will require a more advanced level of writing. I'll get the other things finished first and then see what wants to be done next.
Good job today!
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Almost Thanksgiving and Moving to Mexico
10:31am Writing Practice 39° Boise
I've been hand-writing my journals the last few months. I finished setting up my office in the back bedroom and it's so warm and cozy, I love going back there but here's the thing: I still love to sit in the chair in the living room to write. I lean back here in my chair and just take off, the words flow out of me and I can easily tap into the inner worlds where the writing comes from. Not to say that anything important comes out --- but whatever it is, it's real and it's me and that's what primes my pumps each day. My laptop has been stationed in the back office and I go in there after my morning writing out here and I pull up Facebook and do that for a bit, connect with people outside my head (or so it feels) and then I make breakfast and that's usually that. However, I can feel the need for writing practice while typing, for sure. I feel rusty and I'm tripping over words and having to stumble along here. I can sure tell I haven't typed anything much for a few months. It's not that hard to unplug the laptop and bring it in here. I have an extra power cord and when I'm done, I can unplug it and take it right back in there.
But for today, I'm going to leave it here. I have the 2017 Practice Happiness calendar to design and I'm behind. The last two were assembled right here in this chair and after struggling to do it in the back office and now running out of time, I've caved and brought the laptop out to design the thing here. I've selected photos, got a list of 19 subjects to work with and have found quotes for 4 of them. Now all I need to do it continue with the quotes and then begin to put the practices with the photos in Picasa. Then I can get it all going on Snapfish.
My plan had been to have then finished and ordeedr by last week but I designed a bunch of watercolor note cards instead. Almost 100 of them. Sheesh. I could not tear myself away! The idea with them was to market them to realtors and I had a lunch date scheduled with Burma for Thursday last week and wanted to show her. And then I took some to Gigi's shop on Sunday. And then I met another realtor yesterday and showed her and she actually bought some. But then I rescued her open house sign from my garbage, where it had been placed on Saturday at some point. She was very grateful to get it back and that's probably why she bought the cards ... as a sort of reward. Oh well, they're getting out there and that's the important part. The cards are beautiful and I can print them fast and sell them cheap. How fun is that?!
Thanksgiving Day after tomorrow and I thought it was going to be a long, lonely day but now I'm cooking a turkey dinner and Pam and Janna are coming over. Stephanie might come too. I ran out to Walmart to buy a boneless turkey breast roast and a box of stuffing, although I should have bought 2 boxes. And I need more gravy mix. And a can of cranberry sauce. I like the jelly kind in a can (which just shows what kind of upbringing I had) but I wonder if I could find a recipes for using fresh or frozen cranberries? I wonder if I want to bother?
Stephanie just texted that she probably can't come, she has high school friends in town and wants to see them. I get it, she's young, we're a bunch of crones and we don't even drink.
So the menu is:
Off I go to get my breakfast and work on the calendar for the rest of the day. I cancelled plans for tomorrow so that I can work on it and get it finished, so now I have a wide open two days to get it done. Yaaaay!
I've been hand-writing my journals the last few months. I finished setting up my office in the back bedroom and it's so warm and cozy, I love going back there but here's the thing: I still love to sit in the chair in the living room to write. I lean back here in my chair and just take off, the words flow out of me and I can easily tap into the inner worlds where the writing comes from. Not to say that anything important comes out --- but whatever it is, it's real and it's me and that's what primes my pumps each day. My laptop has been stationed in the back office and I go in there after my morning writing out here and I pull up Facebook and do that for a bit, connect with people outside my head (or so it feels) and then I make breakfast and that's usually that. However, I can feel the need for writing practice while typing, for sure. I feel rusty and I'm tripping over words and having to stumble along here. I can sure tell I haven't typed anything much for a few months. It's not that hard to unplug the laptop and bring it in here. I have an extra power cord and when I'm done, I can unplug it and take it right back in there.
But for today, I'm going to leave it here. I have the 2017 Practice Happiness calendar to design and I'm behind. The last two were assembled right here in this chair and after struggling to do it in the back office and now running out of time, I've caved and brought the laptop out to design the thing here. I've selected photos, got a list of 19 subjects to work with and have found quotes for 4 of them. Now all I need to do it continue with the quotes and then begin to put the practices with the photos in Picasa. Then I can get it all going on Snapfish.
My plan had been to have then finished and ordeedr by last week but I designed a bunch of watercolor note cards instead. Almost 100 of them. Sheesh. I could not tear myself away! The idea with them was to market them to realtors and I had a lunch date scheduled with Burma for Thursday last week and wanted to show her. And then I took some to Gigi's shop on Sunday. And then I met another realtor yesterday and showed her and she actually bought some. But then I rescued her open house sign from my garbage, where it had been placed on Saturday at some point. She was very grateful to get it back and that's probably why she bought the cards ... as a sort of reward. Oh well, they're getting out there and that's the important part. The cards are beautiful and I can print them fast and sell them cheap. How fun is that?!
Thanksgiving Day after tomorrow and I thought it was going to be a long, lonely day but now I'm cooking a turkey dinner and Pam and Janna are coming over. Stephanie might come too. I ran out to Walmart to buy a boneless turkey breast roast and a box of stuffing, although I should have bought 2 boxes. And I need more gravy mix. And a can of cranberry sauce. I like the jelly kind in a can (which just shows what kind of upbringing I had) but I wonder if I could find a recipes for using fresh or frozen cranberries? I wonder if I want to bother?
Stephanie just texted that she probably can't come, she has high school friends in town and wants to see them. I get it, she's young, we're a bunch of crones and we don't even drink.
So the menu is:
Boneless Turkey Breast Roast
Stuffing and gravy
Cranberry Relish
Mashed Potatoes
Rolls
Pie
Green Beans in some form
Salad
Pie
I'll provide the top stuff, Pam brings the middle and Janna the last. That should be a fine feast but no sweet potatoes. I wonder if I can live without that bit of sweetness. This meal is already very high in sugar and carbs. I think I'll let it be. Now all I have to do is finish the calendar, get the house spiffed up and vacuumed, go to the store for the extra supplies I need and then I get to spend my day Thursday getting ready for dinner. Maybe I'll get a centerpiece and maybe I'll use the white lace table cloth with my red dishes. It will be so nice to have a small dinner party here.
This makes the third party this year. I had Stephen's birthday bash in March, my Sober Day party in my newly renovated back yard in August and now this dinner. I'm doing well with my willingness to be social in spite of it all. And I'm happy to report an upsurge in good feelings --- I've written all about it in my other pages but I decided to get up and have a life, whatever is left of it, and stop laying around moaning and wailing. I may even move to Mexico!
I have heard of a little town on the north shore of Lake Chapalla south of Guadalajara called Ajijic (Ahi-heek) in the Sierra Madre Mountains. High enough to give the area a temperate climate but south enough for it to never get too cold. And there's all that fresh water! And it's not far from Puerto Vallarta and the ocean vacation play land. Living there would be inexpensive and perhaps a great place to write books, since I would have a housekeeper to take care of me. I'm getting my passport renewed and will fly down there in February or March to check it out and if all goes well, I could actually pack up this house, put it in storage, vet the cats and load us up somehow and hit the road south .... way, way south! Nathan retires in August and I would ask him to go with me to help me get there safe and then fly him back home from Guadalajara, which should be a straight shot from Denver.
I'll rent my house to Stephanie, her lease is up next September, and she'll take ideal care of my sweet home. I'll have to build a carport next spring and make sure all systems are go here so that I don't leave her with any problems. I'll only get minimum rent, just enough to cover expenses, but it will be so worth it to have her here and not have to worry about a thing. Being so far away, it would be so nice to take off and trust, leaving it all in her capable hands. Then whatever debts I take will me I can quickly pay off from there, my living expenses will be to low. I could start out in an apartment and then move into a house if the right situation comes up. I'd like to have a safe place for the cats as well, they wouldn't like to live indoors for the whole time. I might go for a season or for a few years. If I can work there and I like it, I may stay and never come back except to visit. I hear that I have to came back every 6 months in order to renew my visa, which would be fine. I can fly anywhere from that airport in Guadalajara, visit all over the world if I want to. The cats will have to stay behind with a sitter but they should be fine with that.
As I type this all out, I'm imagining a different life and it's fun. Talk about living far from home! I could write that memoir as I'm doing it and tell the stories from the past at the same time. That would give Learning to Live Far From Home an interesting angle that might make all the difference. Yesterday I wrote all the other times I've risked hasty or unlikely moves ...
1) Baker to Portland, 1971
2) Hermiston to Portland, 1977
3) Portland to Hawaii, 1981
4) Portland to Hanford, 1981
4) Hanford to Baker, 2002
5) Baker to Boise, 2003
6) Boise to the happiness tour, 2005
7) San Luis Obispo to Hannibal, MO, 2006
8) Hannibal to Boise, 2007
I have a long and illustrious history of uprooting and taking off at the slightest provocation! I've had 55 addresses in my life since age 5 (before that, I was shuffled around with relatives, I don't think there ever was a "home" to speak of) and I'm not finished yet. I wrote that all out not long ago but I can't remember where I saved it right off the bat. So this latest idea of a new life in Mexico makes perfect sense for my life path, I think I need to do this. The idea of NOT doing it makes me sad and bored ....
Off I go to get my breakfast and work on the calendar for the rest of the day. I cancelled plans for tomorrow so that I can work on it and get it finished, so now I have a wide open two days to get it done. Yaaaay!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)