9:45am Writing Practice 28°/ Boise
I've been up since 8:30, awake since 7:45, thanks to Milo and restless cat syndrome. They are sick and tired of laying around the house and not getting to go out to run and play. Although I have let them out twice this week but it was too cold for them and they came back after just a few minutes. We're all sick of this cold weather. And the snow. I look out the window and see that it's snowing again right now but there's not supposed to be any presip at all for the coming week, just cold. It's fine flakes falling out there, maybe it won't amount to anything. I have to load up and go clean at Vista this afternoon and if it snows too much, I won't go until tomorrow. I just checked the forecast and this is not going to last, just a skiff to remind us that winter is far from over around here. I have 4 hours before I leave for the cleaning job, that should be plenty of time for this to stop and the roads to be OK. No slip and slide for me, I won't go there.
I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan on Monday and have lost almost 2 lbs already and I'm really just getting started. I have 2½ weeks to go before I leave for Mexico and at this rate, I should fit my summer clothes just fine by then. For now, that's all I ask. If I could solve my sweet tooth, I'd drop weight like crazy and be under 130 lbs in no time and keep it there easily. The sweets aren't a huge issue, not like they were with my mother but still, I'd like to cut down even more.
I've got a writing project started and a new outline but haven't worked on it at all this week. The political unrest in the air right now is so distracting and yet I can't do anything about it, which is why I've left politics alone all my life. I'm in the process now of getting my attention out of it, limiting my time on Facebook, thinking about other things. I imagine moving to Mexico but until I go see the place, I won't really have an idea to base the dream on. Also, Trump is threatening to build that wall again. How will his attitude affect how Americans are treated in Mexico? The Mexican government would be within its right and reason to cancel all visas and send all Americans back to the States. In which case, moving there would not be an option. Canada is out, I don't want to go north, and all other countries are too hard to get to with my cat.
I was looking on Mike Shaw's FB page this morning to see what that side is thinking and he used those hated words on one of his posts --- "If you don't like it, get out!" Whenever I see that demand stated I get mad. For 8 years, he hated Obama and everything the government did, claiming all sorts of fictitious things that never happened, and not once was he invited to leave if he didn't like it. At least not that I saw. What gives some people the idea that freedom is only available for those who agree with them and the rest of us must leave? I may post this as a question on FB because it's going to get worse and we should all be prepared for it. OK, I just posted it, we'll see what discussions the question brings. I'd sure like to get to the bottom of that one, it annoys me terribly.
Stephen showed up in my dreams this morning. Seems I was getting married again and he was at the reception or was it the pre-party? He was young, early 20's and I was worried about him, wondering if he was ever going to be OK. It was a weird dream and didn't make any sense. I don't even know who I was supposed to be marrying but it didn't feel like I wanted to do it. Plus, I was the photographer at my own wedding and Gigi was there but didn't like herself in one of the photos and I thought, why didn't I hand to camera to Stephen? He's a terrific photographer, he could have done the job. Then I felt that I didn't trust him to do it in his condition. So I was reminded of my attitude toward Stephen during those early years of his 20's. He was so immature and on the edge of collapse. I knew it, I felt it about him but there was nothing I could do about it. Now that I think about it, he wasn't the photographer he became later at that time in his life. He didn't really take off with photography until he wrote a bad check for a digital camera at Walmart (that I later covered) and started really taking pictures. Then when he got his first Mac laptop from his dad in 2006, he really bloomed. Same with his music. That laptop was the best idea we had and I'm so glad John bought it for him.
In my dream, Stephen was visiting from Portland where he had a life. Interesting. I wonder if I was dreaming an alternative timeline? It didn't seem any more hopeful than the one we lived with, where he died. I would love to have a dream of a timeline where he flourished and became strong and independent. Yes, that's the dream I like! The one where he's still here, having fun and making music and movies and loving his life. Give me that dream and I'll step into it and never wake up. Thank you.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Idea: Messages from Elysium
9:25am Writing Practice 23°/ Boise
Still dealing with crappy weather and a frozen world. It snowed another 3" yesterday and I got that cleared in time for this heavy freeze to return for the foreseeable future. I ran errands yesterday, got to the post office to mail colloidal silver to our hotel in Mexico (cost me $45 to ship, I hope it arrives!) and returned library books, plus stopped in to Fred Meyer to pick up some salad. My supplies are holding out great, I seem to be able to get out about twice a week, which is all I really need to do. I'm home again now until Thursday when I have to go clean at the Vista building and then I can send them my invoice to $220 this time --- I had an extra job for them last week to add to my income.
I have started a continuation of the memoir writing, got a new outline and have plunked away at it. But I've also been watching YouTube videos about doodling and watercolor painting and that's been inspiring and relaxing. I actually started a new piece a few days ago, a watercolor background with doodle flowers in a low vase. I'll continue to add to that as well, might take a few weeks to get it done but I like it so far. It will be good practice for building up layers and adding detail ... just what I need to do with my writing as well.
While browsing FB this morning, I saw a photo of a swirling design and this came to mind:
Still dealing with crappy weather and a frozen world. It snowed another 3" yesterday and I got that cleared in time for this heavy freeze to return for the foreseeable future. I ran errands yesterday, got to the post office to mail colloidal silver to our hotel in Mexico (cost me $45 to ship, I hope it arrives!) and returned library books, plus stopped in to Fred Meyer to pick up some salad. My supplies are holding out great, I seem to be able to get out about twice a week, which is all I really need to do. I'm home again now until Thursday when I have to go clean at the Vista building and then I can send them my invoice to $220 this time --- I had an extra job for them last week to add to my income.
I have started a continuation of the memoir writing, got a new outline and have plunked away at it. But I've also been watching YouTube videos about doodling and watercolor painting and that's been inspiring and relaxing. I actually started a new piece a few days ago, a watercolor background with doodle flowers in a low vase. I'll continue to add to that as well, might take a few weeks to get it done but I like it so far. It will be good practice for building up layers and adding detail ... just what I need to do with my writing as well.
While browsing FB this morning, I saw a photo of a swirling design and this came to mind:
"The
cosmos exists in swirls. Emotions swirl in a dance with the universe,
neither good nor bad, right or wrong. Find the meaning in the feeling,
begin to understand the triggers and claim them to put the power of
creation into your lives."
So I made it a post on FB with a photo from my files and labeled it, "My message from Elysium this morning." Then I thought, hey, that sounds good! Messages from Elysium. So I Googled it, no match. Then I checked GoDaddy for a domain name (messagesfromelysuim.com) and it's available. I could create a blog for them and begin to channel messages and share them. What do you think? Well, I'll just have to see if any other messages come to me and then decide what to do with them.
In the meantime, I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan yesterday and lost 1.2 pounds overnight, which is common. The rest usually take a little longer. I just want to lose enough to fit my summer clothes comfortably in Mexico and that's only 4 or 5 pounds. I'd love to lose an additional 3 or 4 pounds by summer to be slim and trim for summer fun. I should be able to do this if I can just stay out of the sweets. Really, that's all it would take.
OK, that's it for me, off for breakfast and then whatever else I choose to do on the freezing but sunny day.
So I made it a post on FB with a photo from my files and labeled it, "My message from Elysium this morning." Then I thought, hey, that sounds good! Messages from Elysium. So I Googled it, no match. Then I checked GoDaddy for a domain name (messagesfromelysuim.com) and it's available. I could create a blog for them and begin to channel messages and share them. What do you think? Well, I'll just have to see if any other messages come to me and then decide what to do with them.
In the meantime, I'm hungry. I started a low carb food plan yesterday and lost 1.2 pounds overnight, which is common. The rest usually take a little longer. I just want to lose enough to fit my summer clothes comfortably in Mexico and that's only 4 or 5 pounds. I'd love to lose an additional 3 or 4 pounds by summer to be slim and trim for summer fun. I should be able to do this if I can just stay out of the sweets. Really, that's all it would take.
OK, that's it for me, off for breakfast and then whatever else I choose to do on the freezing but sunny day.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Elysium Counsil --- personal history
11am Writing Practice 25° / Boise
After a nightmare few weeks of horrible weather, we're on the other side of the worst of it now, I think. The freezing rain never came and we didn't lose power, which is all I asked, so whoever brought that home, Thank You. The snow started in before Thanksgiving and it hasn't let up since, almost 2 months. I have 4 foot piles on either side on the new deck and there are 4 foot piles out front that I built while shoveling. I had a little muscle spasm in my neck yesterday from all that heavy shoveling but the beads and a little heat seems to have cured that. Today it's clear and sunny and even though it's not supposed to warm up to thaw, the sun will help evaporate the ice and build up for the next several days. Then the snow returns next week with no real thaw to melt what we have.
And they say there is no global warming.
The world appears to be going to shit, what with Trump about to take office in 8 days and everyone in an uproar. I know there's going to be a shake up for this system and I just hope I can survive it. If not, my little life and my stories will be buried with me and who will care. Who will ever care?
In my written pages I got a message from The Elysium Group a few days ago ... not sure if it's a committee or a council or a connection or a consortium. I was reminded of a vision I had years ago of my Higher Power, January or February of 1993. I had been reading a little book I picked up at an antique shop in Jefferson City, MO on our way to John's new job at The Naval Training Center in North Chicago. The book was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and it cost me a quarter. I used to know right where that little book was but I can't find it now. I may have finally lost it or misplaced it. Not moving for over 9 years means I have lost track of much of my stuff. It's probably around somewhere.
But to get back to the point, I had been reading that little book and Mr Peale used the word God so much and it bothered me but he also gave the reader permission to name the Higher Power anything they chose. The same went for the AA meetings I attended. Gerald called his HP, I found out years later, but I didn't know what to call that power I was supposed to turn it all over to. And here's where the memory came back to me so clearly that I had to write about it again.
I decided to lay down and ask to be shown who or what my Higher Power is. I settled in on the couch while Stephen was at school and John was at work and relaxed into a meditational nap and in it I got a vision of a semi-circular table with people sitting around the outside, all ready to listen and take notes and confer with me on whatever was on my mind. And I was standing or sitting facing them, presenting them with my issues and questions. I got the emotional feeling of intent focus, like everything I brought to them was of extreme importance and their only purpose was to be fully present with me as I asked questions or explained my situation. It looked like a board room of sorts and the people were dressed in suits and sat at attention with tablets in front of them. No one spoke, it was a conference meant just for me and I felt fully supported. When I woke, the vision was still vivid, as it is right now. It wasn't a dream. I felt around in it for a bit and was comforted and encouraged by this idea of being so loved and supported in all I was trying to do. I named them my Council on Higher Power but this was before I started writing in December 1994, so I didn't connect with them, bond with them, like I could have had I been writing daily like I have done all these years.
So this vision popped to mind while I was brushing my teeth the other day and once it came back, it stayed with me. When I wrote about it in my spiral pages, a name came to mind, Allisium. I saw the word in my mind's eye but I didn't know if it was a real word or maybe the name of a flower, so I Googled it. Sure enough, alyssum is a flower but the other word I found was Elysium, which fit the pronunciation of the word I saw. Then I looked up the meaning and was blown away! The Elysium Fields is an ancient version of the afterlife and has a long history, many thousands of years. There's also a movie and I saw it a few years ago but had forgotten about it. An interesting note: Jody Foster played the leader of the Elysium Council in that movie and sat in a chair with a semi-circular table in front of her where the other council members all faced her. Also, in the movie Contact, Jody Foster payed the main character who presented her ideas and findings to a council in a board room facing a semi-circular table where people were seated, listening and watching. I had that memory this morning, putting those pieces together.
The main point in writing about this here is to ponder the possibility of contact via inspiration of an actual entity or power available to help me --- as religious people believe a god is available to them via prayer and divine guidance. In my spiral pages, I wrote some things about beliefs and the way beliefs create reality and it came so effortlessly, so naturally. I would LOVE to believe that I have access to such a council and that they gave me a name that I can use for them. What would it be like to just go forth as if, see where it takes me? To become a channel for The Elysium Council. Maybe that's why I keep getting the vision. They want to talk to me. Maybe I'm ready for whatever they have to say. Or maybe I'm just ready for the looney bin. Whatever, it's an interesting idea and might be fun, if I can find a way to open up.
Also, maybe Stephen is there and is part of the council now. I do keep asking him where he is. So we'll see.
After a nightmare few weeks of horrible weather, we're on the other side of the worst of it now, I think. The freezing rain never came and we didn't lose power, which is all I asked, so whoever brought that home, Thank You. The snow started in before Thanksgiving and it hasn't let up since, almost 2 months. I have 4 foot piles on either side on the new deck and there are 4 foot piles out front that I built while shoveling. I had a little muscle spasm in my neck yesterday from all that heavy shoveling but the beads and a little heat seems to have cured that. Today it's clear and sunny and even though it's not supposed to warm up to thaw, the sun will help evaporate the ice and build up for the next several days. Then the snow returns next week with no real thaw to melt what we have.
And they say there is no global warming.
The world appears to be going to shit, what with Trump about to take office in 8 days and everyone in an uproar. I know there's going to be a shake up for this system and I just hope I can survive it. If not, my little life and my stories will be buried with me and who will care. Who will ever care?
In my written pages I got a message from The Elysium Group a few days ago ... not sure if it's a committee or a council or a connection or a consortium. I was reminded of a vision I had years ago of my Higher Power, January or February of 1993. I had been reading a little book I picked up at an antique shop in Jefferson City, MO on our way to John's new job at The Naval Training Center in North Chicago. The book was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and it cost me a quarter. I used to know right where that little book was but I can't find it now. I may have finally lost it or misplaced it. Not moving for over 9 years means I have lost track of much of my stuff. It's probably around somewhere.
But to get back to the point, I had been reading that little book and Mr Peale used the word God so much and it bothered me but he also gave the reader permission to name the Higher Power anything they chose. The same went for the AA meetings I attended. Gerald called his HP, I found out years later, but I didn't know what to call that power I was supposed to turn it all over to. And here's where the memory came back to me so clearly that I had to write about it again.
I decided to lay down and ask to be shown who or what my Higher Power is. I settled in on the couch while Stephen was at school and John was at work and relaxed into a meditational nap and in it I got a vision of a semi-circular table with people sitting around the outside, all ready to listen and take notes and confer with me on whatever was on my mind. And I was standing or sitting facing them, presenting them with my issues and questions. I got the emotional feeling of intent focus, like everything I brought to them was of extreme importance and their only purpose was to be fully present with me as I asked questions or explained my situation. It looked like a board room of sorts and the people were dressed in suits and sat at attention with tablets in front of them. No one spoke, it was a conference meant just for me and I felt fully supported. When I woke, the vision was still vivid, as it is right now. It wasn't a dream. I felt around in it for a bit and was comforted and encouraged by this idea of being so loved and supported in all I was trying to do. I named them my Council on Higher Power but this was before I started writing in December 1994, so I didn't connect with them, bond with them, like I could have had I been writing daily like I have done all these years.
So this vision popped to mind while I was brushing my teeth the other day and once it came back, it stayed with me. When I wrote about it in my spiral pages, a name came to mind, Allisium. I saw the word in my mind's eye but I didn't know if it was a real word or maybe the name of a flower, so I Googled it. Sure enough, alyssum is a flower but the other word I found was Elysium, which fit the pronunciation of the word I saw. Then I looked up the meaning and was blown away! The Elysium Fields is an ancient version of the afterlife and has a long history, many thousands of years. There's also a movie and I saw it a few years ago but had forgotten about it. An interesting note: Jody Foster played the leader of the Elysium Council in that movie and sat in a chair with a semi-circular table in front of her where the other council members all faced her. Also, in the movie Contact, Jody Foster payed the main character who presented her ideas and findings to a council in a board room facing a semi-circular table where people were seated, listening and watching. I had that memory this morning, putting those pieces together.
The main point in writing about this here is to ponder the possibility of contact via inspiration of an actual entity or power available to help me --- as religious people believe a god is available to them via prayer and divine guidance. In my spiral pages, I wrote some things about beliefs and the way beliefs create reality and it came so effortlessly, so naturally. I would LOVE to believe that I have access to such a council and that they gave me a name that I can use for them. What would it be like to just go forth as if, see where it takes me? To become a channel for The Elysium Council. Maybe that's why I keep getting the vision. They want to talk to me. Maybe I'm ready for whatever they have to say. Or maybe I'm just ready for the looney bin. Whatever, it's an interesting idea and might be fun, if I can find a way to open up.
Also, maybe Stephen is there and is part of the council now. I do keep asking him where he is. So we'll see.
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