9:24am Writing Practice 62° Boise
False start yesterday. Got distracted by Lynnie Winkler and her interest in moving to the Boise area and that was all she wrote for me. I never recovered my day, never left the house, barely washed my face. Last week I loaned mom's umbrella to a woman stranded in the WinCo parking lot with a dead car and yesterday she called me and brought it back after she got off work. I had been berating myself for not getting her name and number, only giving her mine, putting all the power into her hands, leaving all the follow-through with her. But my trust was vindicated, yet again! It sure would be nice to write that kindness book right now, get down and focus on it and only it, pump it out somehow and get it published for the world as it is today. Would it help? All the other kindness books were published and the kindness craze raced through years ago. People are madder then ever and hateful and intolerant. And yet when push comes to shove and you're sitting in a hot parking lot, people stop and try to help. When there's an accident, people stop and try to help (until the police and ambulance show up).
I fade in and out of existence these days. I'm doing so much better then I was a few months ago. The desire to end it all was strong there for a while but that idea seems to have left me, I'm no longer in that space. What a relief! I did a 13 minute tapping session with Brad Yates on a YouTube video one time and that's all it took. I could be doing even better with more tapping. Hey! Maybe tapping for focus would work to get me started on one of my books! I'll try that. Why the hell not? I've got all these ideas and no motivation. I've even been thinking of letting my studio go. I can't tell you how much I enjoy sitting right here in my comfy chair typing away. I have the ocean on the TV, a new ocean each day (YouTube is full of them) and the cats are out playing, the sun is shining and my little corner lot is a good place to be. If I moved home with my studio to the back bedroom, I would have the new desktop back there, begin to use it more often, begin to work with Windows 10. Then I could get 10 installed on this laptop and have everything match up. I'll need to install a Word program on the desktop and it will have to be compatible with this laptop. But everything would be here again. All crammed into that back bedroom again. Would I like that? Or could I begin to disperse some of the crap I have that I don't need? No more option of moving a roommate in. But no more rent going out for the studio that I'm not using. I've had it for a year in August. August 10th, to be exact. And other than a few good sessions, I've not used it, it's been a waste.
I could send an e-mail to Horas and Judy and give my notice for August 9th. Then I would have to really get going around here. I have the back yard to finish up and the deck to clean and seal. I could wrap and store the twin mattress and put the base away. Sort through and sell the left overs. I could have a driveway sale. I have two small tables and matching chairs to sell and a little book case. And a little refrigerator, the one I bought for Stephen. I've had it all this time and I don't use it. It's good for $125, I'll bet. I'll give Gerald's microwave to Mark, maybe. I have a place to hang the cork board. Yaaay! Will I hang the shelves again? Do I need to buy a pint of blue paint to touch up that office and the back bedroom? Probably. Do I really want to do this?
Well, it's almost 10am and I have to go check on Olie and take him for a little walk. Then run to the library at Hillcrest and pick up the books on CD that are are awaiting me. I have way more reading materials than I could possibly use right now! It's like I'm overstimulated with all the options and I'm just grabbing at everything. But it's been nice to sit here and type it all out with the cool breeze wafting in the open windows and the sounds of the ocean soothing and lulling me. I was so hoping that the fact of a studio and a place to go work away from home would inspire me but so far, it hasn't. At all. And the summer is more distracting then ever! The weather has been ideal, no fires, no inversions. I've been ziplining in Horseshoe Bend twice already and I want to go again! And I want to go camping! I want to relax and let life come to me in its own good time. And so that's what I'm doing.
I think I'll wait and give notice for the first of September. I'll surely have time to deal with the move by then.
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