Tuesday

8:35am                            Writing Practice                        49°  Boise

Bad couple of days around here. I got all my stuff moved from the studio and the room totally cleaned, repaired and ready to rent again. Horace won't have to do a thing to it --- yes, I'm that good!  However, I got it all brought home and then had to stuff most of it into my shed because I ran out of energy to deal with any of it. In a few days I'll drag it all out to the end of the driveway and have a sale. I'll do that on Friday or Saturday. I'll spend tomorrow and Thursday preparing and sorting. I want to move things along in here, I don't want to live in clutter or feel too crowded for the winter.

After that, I have painting to do. I have to clean and paint the bench Kurt made for me and sometime next week Richard Fabian is coming back to finish updating the paint on the house. Also, I need to get the heat gun out and see if I can strip the front porch --- that peeling paint is the pits! But before I can do that, I have to tear down the last of the sunflowers and get them cut up and put in the garbage by Sunday afternoon. I've already done some of that so it should be doable.

Lamar is in town for the entire day, I'm going to pick him up at Hotel 43 downtown and we're going for a drive to Idaho City. He's never been and it's going to be a beautiful day, so it should be fun. I had a horrible day yesterday, not enough sleep the night before and then thinking myself into a funk. What happened with James and Bryce last month is still kicking my ass and I'm tempted to be angry. Those kinds of thoughts lead to Nathan and how he's abandoned me this past year and how so many others have done the same thing over the years and then I start feeling weird and icky like there's something wrong with me and then I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone and all I can do is lay in on my bed and worry and fret and be upset. Now today, after tapping yesterday evening and after getting a good night's sleep, I'm feeling more normal, less weird and icky and maybe, just maybe, I'll be OK today for Lamar. I hope.

After I get the shed cleared out, I'm going to bring Granny's box into the house and find the stories about Rachael Riley McDaniel and her big move to Spokane from Indiana on the train with her two youngest children after her husband, Had McDaniel, died. I may use that story to start off my Home book. It's such an interesting story and might be just the ticket to set the tone for the stories of all my moves in life and what we're all looking for and dreaming of when we move.

In the meantime, I'm not moving. Two more months and I'll have been in this house for 9 years. Considering the fact that I've never lived so long anywhere, things are in pretty good shape around here. When I cleaned good a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but notice that it wasn't that dirty. Besides dust in a few places, no one would ever know that I've lived here for so long. Mom lived in her duplex in Hermiston for two months shy of 10 years and both she and Dad died in that place. They, too, were lifelong movers and yet managed to stay put at the end. They moved into that place July 2002. Dad died January 2009 and mom died May 2012.

I wonder if I'll die in this house? Mom turned 66 a few weeks after they moved in, just a few years older than I am now. I was 54 when I moved in here. Now I'm 63 and my dreams of buying an RV and traveling seem very far off. But unlike my mother, my health is good (even if my attitude sucks sometimes) and I could still get there from here.

Well, I need to get a shower and wash my hair. I'll pick up Lamar at 11:30 and there's much to do between now and then. So off I go. I'll try a little more tapping and see if I can lift a little more of this funk. That reminds me, Sept 20, 1973 I married Bob Willems. 43 years ago today. I sent a text to Nathan telling him the it was worth it because of him but I haven't heard back. He may or may not respond. Yep, I better tap some more.