10:35am Writing Practice 56°/Boise
Another weird sleep night ... slept solid from 11:30 to 4:40am and then awake reading until 7:30, then back to sleep until almost 10am. I thought about getting up but that is such an unappealing idea in the wee hours of the morning where all is dark and silent. I don't wish to get into the habit of that kind of sleep schedule, makes it too hard to get up and go in the morning when I have plans. I know that's seldom the case but still.
I asked Dave at the Vista Building if he would be interested in using my house for his corporate housing business and at first he was hesitant. Too much upkeep on a house verses a condo. But then he thought of one contract he has where he still needs a 1 bedroom place and this would fit the bill, since the back bedroom is mostly an office or child's room. The English call those kinds of rooms a single. I told him my house payment is $768mo and the rest of the utilities would run it up to $900-$950 depending on the time of year and how much water is used and how much heat and air an individual would use. It would be one person staying here from mid-May to mid-Sept. That's 4 months of freedom to go scout options elsewhere. He said he would discuss it with his wife and get back to me. This plan would have me putting all my personal items in storage and renting it basically furnished. I could rent a smaller storage unit that way and then when I come back, it would be very easy to move back in.
Trouble is, I want to leave and never come back. That's the way I feel lately. Yes, this is my home but it's also the last place Stephen lived with me and I'm stuck in that story. I want to write a new story for myself, one that includes love and happiness and maybe even a new family. At least when I'm ready for that, it sound enticing. I've been here 10 years and have not met anyone to even have coffee with. Of course, I haven't been in the right space emotionally to meet anyone but I look around my life here and while it's comfortable, it's also a little lonely. I'm cut off from anyone who might be family to me.
Wow, it's weird that I just wrote that, I don't consciously want a family. I've always wanted time and freedom to do my own thing and now I have exactly that but instead of doing anything, I'm busy whining and feeling sorry for myself. I can feel better if I want to, I can inspire myself if I want to. I can get on with my life at any time and I don't have to go anywhere or meet anyone to do it. If the time comes in a few weeks that I decide to go ahead with a plan to move, I'll deal with it at that time. Whether I rent this place short term or long term, it will all work out. The idea of moving to Ajijic and staying at Hotel Perico for a while is appealing --- the only thing that bothers me is the long drive through Mexico alone. But I'll bet I can do it! If I want to I can.
In the meantime, it's Friday in Boise, Idaho, almost 60° and cloudy but it's supposed to begin clearing and be pretty spring-like for 5 whole days. Maybe I'll get ready and drive to Baker Sunday or Monday. I can leave the cats overnight and stay there if I want to. I need to finish editing the Mexico photos and so I'll sit my butt in this chair and do that, then I'll make Jodie a CD with the pictures. I'll send a CD to Sharon as well as return her SD card. I can get that done today and get it in the mail. I've got a few other things to take care of and then I can take off for Baker on Sunday morning, stay overnight with Jodie, see Connie and Joe on Monday, maybe for breakfast, drop in on Sue right quick, and then head home, be back mid-afternoon. Maybe Pam L would be willing to say hello to the boys Monday morning, just to cheer them up.
OK, well, it's 11:25 and I'm off a here. Wish me luck.
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