Dark and wet again this morning, although it cleared up yesterday and the afternoon and evening was gorgeous. I've got the little heater running here in the living room and the cats are cranky and pouting but I've got my ocean video on the TV and I'm loving it.
Cousin Joe came to Boise to pick up his lamps from the ArtZone 208. Debra, the owner, was cool at best but the contract was up. Whatever. I never could get on the same page with her. Truth is, I don't like her very well, she seems phony to me, an angry, bitter person trying to appear encouraging. Or maybe it's just me ... there is that. Whatever. I'm done with all that, except I did tell Joe to have anyone who wants a custom piece to call me as his agent, at which time I'll listen to their idea and then tell them no, Joe is an artist and doesn't do custom pieces at this time. He liked that idea.
Still drifting around, wondering what to do with myself. But I got a new title last night while watching Glee (there's not one episode that I don't cry at some point, more on that later). It was disco night, they were singing songs from Saturday Night Fever and when they came to Staying Alive, I realized that that's exactly what I've been trying to do all this time since Stephen died. Stay alive and find meaning in this experience. The new title idea came easily:
Staying Alive After Suicide
This is not just a title, it's also a focus. I did an Amazon search and that title is not in use. I can use it as the title or the subtitle:
I AM ; still here
Staying Alive After Suicide
This title pulls it all together, makes it my story and a self-help book at the same time. I can tell stories about Stephen and also my own struggles with suicide. So what story should I start with? I could start out with
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