Thursday

10:45am                           Writing Practice                        59°  Boise

I wrote in my journal over the weekend but I see that I missed writing for the last three days. Yesterday I went to Baker, so no time to write before the trip. Monday and Tuesday I was involved in writing on Facebook in response to the murders at the gay club in Orlando early Sunday morning. 49 people dead and 53 more still in the hospital. What a mess! And the fight over gun control rages. In my mind, we don't need gun control, we need assault weapon control. No one needs a semi-automatic weapon in their home. Period. How did it come to this, that our country is so polarized around so many issues? This is only one of them. Why is everyone so angry and mean to each other?

11:19

OK, I'm back at it. Phone calls and scouting on FB, looking for Chaz Bowman, a young man who asked me for help last night, help for he and his pregnant girlfriend. And I'm here in Idaho while they are in a coastal town on the East Coast. Over 2000 miles away, what can I do? 9pm for me, 11pm for them .... When things get to a point that they are so bad that you're asking for help from people far away in the middle of the night, what can be done at that point? At that moment? Today I can't find hide nor hair of them. Chaz left a cryptic message on his page saying he did the best he could, I love you all, and that's it. No one responded. He's burned all his bridges and now it appears that no one cares. I was there with Stephen like that his last few days of life, I know how helpless Chaz feels and I also don't know what to do about it. I couldn't help Stephen from afar and I can't help Chaz either.

This is the pits. So much sadness and hate in the world today. I think I'll close up shop here, go get my breakfast and then hop in the shower with my story on CD. I listened to 4 of the discs yeserday on my trip to Baker with my new car stereo with the CD player and it was fippin' amazing! I have Bluetooth for my phone and the iPad mini, although I haven't set the mini up yet. I sure do love that thing, too. Now that I have the new stereo, I guess I plan to keep the car a while longer and I'm OK with it. The last few months I've spent too much money, I'm not at all sure I can afford a car payment right now.

I had lots of vivid dreams last night that have faded with the day. The most real one was coming into a little house where a acquaintance had set up a business and thinking how lovely it was. It was mostly a kitchen, a nice one, and others were coming in, too. Then I went around the corner and there was another kitchen and another acquaintance set up for business. And more like that, the place was much bigger than it seemed. Then Vicki Fisk came in and I told her how much I wanted to set up a business and be involved with this place and she said she was first, she was already on the list for next. I felt so frustrated! I must want to find a place where I feel that I belong with others. A group of like-minded people. My high school friends are not that, none of them are. Not a one. I don't even know why I'm involved with them right now. (I had my monthly meeting with them in Baker yesterday. Long drive.) Jane Ross is the closet one, I think. She will be there at the reunion, I'll go for her, but I may turn over the MC job and program planning to Paula Taylor. That would give the crowd a new face and give Paula an opportunity to shine. I'll call her later and discuss it with her, what a great idea! I'll just go and relax and enjoy. What relief I feel at the prospect of handing that over. Wow!

OK, I'm off to my breakfast and shower. Good. I did my writing today.