Time stands still and life goes on.

9:36am              My Daily Pages                31°  Boise

I'm being bad this morning. I went to Facebook first a half hour ago and am just getting to my pages. Last night I wrote a post and then used it to reopen my Practice Happiness blog and I wanted to check on that to see what the comments were. 21 people visited the blog and no one left a comment. Connie left a comment on FB and I took the time to answer her. That was good. And then I posted a photo and birthday greeting for Stephanie since today is her birthday. Anyway, I'm here now and ready to write and so I shall.

From my bed this morning, I clicked on my cell phone and listened to Stephen's song, Right As Rain, and wondered again if that should be the title of his book.

Right as Rain

The life and death of Stephen B. Sandknop

Then it would be a biography and not a memoir. Or I could write it as creative non-fiction. It would be good to have a song to go with the story. "Forever is so far away ... but then again, so was today." Also, the subtitle could change as the story unfolds. I've certainly done enough writing and remembering since he died, I should be ready to write this story. And I am, really. I keep saying I am. Am I?

Stephen liked the words, The Void. In my young life, I liked The Chasm. In many ways we were similar and both tortured in our own ways, struggling to be ourselves but not knowing, really, who that was, and so failing to drum up support for our efforts in our families. Both of us had families that didn't really pay attention, parents who were so different and so narrow, mine with religion, his with the military. It's surprising to me how similar in feel those narrow lives were. Conservative, structured, opinionated, right. Right as rain. And yet we were both so wrong for the families we had.

I never really looked at it like that before. His story is also my story. My story is also my mother's story. We're all connected down through time. Time stands still and life goes on. How both of the statements can be true is beyond me but I do feel the truth of them.

Points to ponder. But for now, I need to prepare to go get Stephanie's little dog, Olie, and take him to the groomer for her while she joins her family at her grandmother's death bed. I was 53 when my Granny died, Stephanie is 44 today. Granny was 44 when I was born. Poor Stephanie. I hope she can take this loss, it's just the beginning. She still has the rest of her family to say goodbye to and she's so sensitive!